Ex girlfriend in love with dead friend still?

I dated this girl for a short time. We broke up from something completely unrelated (not a fight or bad) to decide to be friends for a little bit. She still liked me, and I still liked her. I'm not going to share details. Anyway I was the first guy she was more intimate with. Her previous boyfriend felt more like a friend to her. A few months later she's really upset. She tells me she finally looked up a friend's name in an obituary. A friend who had a huge crush on her I guess and she had known for a long time. (probably 7+ years) She's 21 now. He had gotten brain cancer, and the emails they exchanged had stopped coming in for a couple years, so she knew he was probably dead, but didn't have the guts to look up his name. So when she did, she was saying she'll never be able to love anyone and she wants to be with him, and she wished she could have told him she loved him back. (which I guess she never did) It makes me question the whole thing, although it's not good to confront her. Because if she had really liked him back at that time, wouldn't she have said it? Is it guilt and the loss of a friend? Or did she truly love him that whole time and just never said it? I've only known her for a year, so I can't compare with all the memories they probably had. She pretends she's okay around everyone, but she's the shell of her former self. She's uncaring and monotone acting 95% of the time. I rarely see her excited or happy anymore. It's been about 4 months since the obituary thing. Although she works and goes to school, I feel as though she's just going through the motions. I love her and I care about her. I want to see her happy. I suggested she look into support groups or maybe some counseling targeted towards grief coping. I know she's not handling this in a very unhealthy way. I can understand not wanting to take other people's advice who care, because I used to be the same way. The only response I get from this is 'Therapy can't bring him back. It can't make me not sad'. Because she's stuck on 'I can't be happy if he's not alive'. Although before the orbituary thing, she was a different person. Happy, caring, very likeable. Perhaps she was pushing off mourning. I myself have gone through a situation where there's something that depresses me and I can't change, nor anyone else. And I've had to cope. At first I didn't want to live anymore for a long time. I had decided that if that thing couldn't be changed, I wouldn't be happy. And no one could help me. But after living more, and going through counseling, finding happiness in other things, I finally can say I'm happy to be alive, and I want to live my life to it's proper end. I just wonder what I'm supposed to do for her. Can someone heal on their own, without therapy, and only support of 1 person? I can't make her do anything, and I can't change a person. Please give me advice.